Thank you and welcome to my inane writings after a lengthy time away.
It has been two years since i done anything of significance relating to hillwalking or looking at new kit therefore i have a little catching up to do.
In this short segment i am going to update on a subject i dealt with at the very beginning of Summituphere? Depression and the Mountains, hence my absence.
It would be stating the obvious to anyone that knows me on a personal level, that the effect of depression hindering me from participating in our sport or hobby has to put it technically, been a pain in the arse.
The struggle I have is not in the planning or arranging kit, but the final step of physically getting into the car and driving the two hours plus, to my given destination. I can hear a chorus of shorten the trip! Tried that one, but there is an overwhelming feeling which I admit is very hard to explain, a mixture of ” now I cannot be bothered and a large part of guilt” the same kind of guilt you have when you promise a child to take him or her to the cinema to watch their favourite movie and renege on that promise.
This has many related consequences to on a personal level, of becoming withdrawn and the usual “let’s put a face on it” followed by severe bouts of insomnia, the ultimate weight gain and lack of fitness it becomes a vicious circle encapsulating everything you do..What has brought me back? There are a couple of life changing event’s that occurred over the period in question, firstly my beautiful three year old granddaughter who means the world to me she has made me laugh again and given back that feeling of being needed albeit for treats and toys. Secondly a few weeks before Christmas i was diagnosed with skin cancer which was little bit of a shock but pulled everything else into perspective. Trivial matters at work faded into insignificance as did all the normal mundane concerns over finances at home.
As early as yesterday afternoon I received a phone call from hospital to go back in next week for follow up surgery to my leg which has blown my plans of three nights in the Lost Valley Glencoe out of the water. So back to square one as they say. It could be another three weeks before I regain any Semblance of fitness, but I’m more determined than ever to hit those summits.
So sorry if this has been a little sore on the eyes however it can be cathartic for those that do suffer in silence and would advise anyone in the same position get help, depression is an illness and nothing to be ashamed of we are all different therefore there is not one solution fits all.
Hopefully we willI have a lighter topic soon and follow this up with a gear review of some zpacks kit and things..